Baking Disaster

I will admit. One of the most difficult things I have done in my life is trying to use a can of cooking spray.

I mean... it seems easy enough. Open; spray.

1. It took AGES to open the damn can. I just COULD NOT figure out how to open it! The cap is clinging onto the can like AIDs to Africans. Okay, that was a rude comment...
Anyway. Eventually, I gave up and asked my mother to help. We pulled, pushed, pressed, yelled... nothing happened. WTF?! Finally, by some miracle, the cap popped off. But of course, that's not the least of my worries.
2. The little knob thing fell off too, so I had to put it back on. Now I have a giant white spot on my desk, and mom is pissed off.
3. I had to spray and re-spray the pan three times. First time there was a hideous white mass... -wipes off- Second time mom screamed at me because I held it 6inches away, instead of 10 inches away. Third time, it still looked strange. WHATEVER.

Well, the pan is sprayed.

I planned on making chewy brownies, but I got tired of stirring the damn thing. Eventually, I gave in and threw in another egg. Horray! Easy stirring! But I've just turned my brownie into a brownie-cake.

I'm sitting here blogging instead of in the kitchen... because I think the oven is talking to me. It started hissing, and soon enough it smelled like something was burning. The oven is empty. -Dramatic music start- In fear of having things blowing up in my face, I'm staying as far away from the stupid machine as possible.

Did I mention I have one of those ancient ovens? I think the thing is older than me. I had to get down on my knees and take the thing apart to light the pilot. Because it was dark, I waved the match around down there until the flame almost hit my fingers to make sure I lit it properly. Now mom is paranoid and constantly nagging me about gas leaks, explosions, and our immediate doom. Yay! Then the stupid cover got jammed, and wouldn't go back in. Again, mom helped push it back in -- after I kicked it and screamed like a PMSing chihuahua. :]

I don't have a normal baking pan, so I have to resort to an aluminum pan. If I'm lucky, nothing will catch on fire or explode. ♥

Whatever... it will work out... and if it doesn't, then all the pretty little children tomorrow at the picnic will be enjoying Shirley's fabulous mystery pastries.